Self Concern...

I was reading a book which is not very popularly known.. It triggered up my thoughts... What is our fundamental, lasting interest in life????? Think for a second... Putting all oblique answers aside and dealing with this question honestly, what would be our answer??? 

Isn't it ourselves?? Anyway, that is what most of us would say if we answered honestly.. I am interested in my progress, my growth, my job, my family, the little corner in which I live, in getting better position for myself, more prestige, more power, more domination over others and so on.... 

I think it would be logical, wouldn't it... To admit ourselves that what most of us are primarily interested in - "me" first... Some of us would say that it is wrong or sinful to be primarily interested in "me" first.. But what is wrong about it except that we seldom honestly admit it?? If we accept also, mostly we are ashamed of it.. This is called hypocrisy.. One is fundamentally interested in oneself and for various cultural or traditional or ideological reasons thinks it to be wrong... 

Some may say that it is more satisfactory to help others than to think about themselves.. What is the difference??? It is still self concern.. If it gives me greater satisfaction to help others, i'm concerned about what will give me greater satisfaction... It is as simple as that.. Why to have double thinking and ideological conflict.. Satisfaction in all sorts of ways, subtle or obvious, is what we want. Ultimate satisfaction, is of course, is the peculiar idea of self-realization. 

Most of us crave for the satisfaction of having a position in society (almost everyone of us!!!).. Because we are afraid of being "nobody" in this society.. And this society is constructed such a way that someone in position is treated with respect, courtesy (or rather fear)... Whereas a man who is "nobody" in the society is kicked around.. Everyone wants to be in a position.. May be in family or office or politics or religion.. And this position must be recognized by others, otherwise its not a position at all...!!!!

Everyone crave to sit on a high platform.. Inwardly we may be shattered or in whirlpools of misery, therefore to be regarded outwardly as great figure is very gratifying...This craving for position and power, to be recognized by the society as being outstanding in one way or the other, is not bad or wrong totally.. It stems out of fear, which is the greatest problem in life... A mind that is caught in fear lives in confusion, conflict, therefore will be aggressive or distorted or both.. It dare not to move away from the same old pattern of its thinking which breeds hypocrisy..Until we free our mind from such fear, even if we invent thousand more Gods, they cant help and we will remain in darkness forever..